I desire my own undoing
What possesses me now is a deep need to fall or crawl or fly back into the place of my conception and see myself unmade
To see myself with eyes and heart untouched by experience or conviction
I must unlearn everything!
There are no boundaries here; I am still the untamed child I was, girl-beast in pleasant skin yearning to feel the dirt beneath claws instead of fingernails
Inside of the walls I saw for a prison, endless circumstance always my jailor
I began to shrink, to shrivel like a dying star inside of myself, touching magick only gently and hesitantly.
Who was I to dive into full waters of the goddess?
In tune enough to know what I felt
Afraid, self loathing, distrustful…I allowed myself slight healing beneath the gold-green speckled light filtering through oak leaves and pine needles
But as I am reborn I yearn to rest as one with the earth, to speak effortlessly to the wind, to carry spirits with me
All that I desire is the knowledge She has to offer, the passion that He powers all with
I want to know intimately the intricacies of creation, life, death, rebirth
I should like to pass my days smelling of roses and sage, ink stains on my fingertips and a bag of bones within reach